Aisle Mania
by clulesss
Summary: Think of it, Naruto ninjas, in AU... working minimum wage in a supermarket? You would be daft NOT to click it! OOC and insanity will ensue.
1. Gaining custom

I've really wanted to write things for a long time, but with schoolwork and crap going on, time seemed to slip away from me

I've really wanted to write things for a long time, but with schoolwork and crap going on, time seemed to slip away from me. Also all my stories on here are crap, but anyway, I really wanted to write something new and fresh, so here it is, it probably wont be completed because im like that, I get bored with things halfway through, so expect to be disappointed.

Feel like flaming? Sure go for it, not like flames don't kill me enough anyway . Besides I'll ignore flames, don't have time for them, better things to be doing.

I've been working on my art stuff quite a lot lately, so if you would like a link to my deviantart site to go have a poke around you are welcome to ask me for it.

Hope you enjoy this story.

Disclaimer- All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the plotline and events in this story belong to me, that's it.

Summary- Konohagakure super stores was the largest chain of super stores in the country, until it had been knocked out of business by competing store, Sunagakure deals and meals. Sasuke had settled into the quiet working life at Konohagakure super stores, until his co-worker naruto decides to liven things up a little.

Pairing undecided and unimportant, it is a collection of mini stories/episodes.

Aisle mania

'Uchiha Sasuke to Checkout number 5 please, Uchiha Sasuke to checkout number 5' crackled the booming voice over the loud speakers.

The voice echoed down the vast space of the large store causing some customers to cringe and cover their ears to protect them from the shrill squealing sound as the loud speaker got turned off. 'Konohagakure super stores' was one of the oldest running chains of stores across the country, started way back in the 1930s when it was but a small grocery shop in the centre of the town, run by a meek young man who had converted the business over from being a cake shop when he had inherited it. If one was to ask the same and now old man about what happened, you would gain a long lecture about the tale going something like this:

'eeeh, it was the summer of 1932 and I had just put the cat outside….or was it the dog…eh, but anyway, I was mopping an orange juice stain off the floor when a man in a black suit came in and brought some pineapples. He came over to the cashier desk and complemented the store, he looked around and nodded to himself then looked back at me and congratulated me on having so many customers. He then began asking me questions about how much stock I sell each year, and well, from simple questions like that, soon he had begun to ask me if I'd like to sell the store! Of course I sold it straight away and used the money to buy a house in Miami!!'

And so, after the store was sold and the owner had left for his summer house is Miami, building-workers came along and began sculpting the modestly sized Grocer's, into a large and vast store. The popularity of this store, one which sold almost everything under the earth including food items, home-wears and clothing, became very clear, and soon other towns began to demands having such a store closer to them as well. And so the Konohagakure super stores chain mania began.

After a few years almost every large town in the country had a Konoha store of its own and the business was soon announcing record profits, the new owners of the stores congratulating themselves on such huge successes. The super stores were almost blessings to smaller towns, not only were things easier and cheaper to get, it also solved the unemployment issues they were having. A wide range of workers, spreading from 16 year olds to 80 year olds, it was clear that no one would be suffering money problems from then on.

It was soon clear that the super stores were the biggest success to the country and its economy, and soon everyone had grown to recognise the bold green lettering and the swirled leaf motif of the store which was proudly worn by workers with little labels that said merrily 'hello I'm insert name here I'm happy to assist'.

However, 50 years after the grand opening of the super store, new competition broke out. In 1987, 'Sunagakure deals and meals', a new and larger store opened in the south of the country, just north of the town where the original Konohagakure super store was. This new store had even lower prices than Konohagakure and the amount of variety of items on the shelves almost put Konohagakure to shame.

Swirly leaf motifs and green uniforms soon got replaced by the more chic and stylish cream and red designs of Sunagakure.

By 1996, the Konohagakure stores craze had ended. Stores had closed down and had been sold on as extensions to the now booming Sunagakure stores which had taken over as the most celebrated business in the country. The only store remaining was the original Konohagakure store, ran by the granddaughter of the original owner, Tsunade.

A short skip ahead to current times in 2008 will show the image of the store with tiles falling off the roof, bricks in the walls chipped and a shabby interior; it was easy to see the poor store was on its last legs. But it didn't mean the store was never open, 8am till 11pm opening and closing hours, the store opened everyday except Sundays and continued on with its useless routine. Profits were low and customers were few, but you could be guaranteed to be greeted with a happy smiling face of the workers and you would be comforted with the fact that the aisles would never be over crowded.

But, asides from the anything but interesting history lesson of said super store, it is time to flick back to the story line.

Sasuke looked up from his seat behind the frozen aisle and sighed, standing up and straightening out his green Konohagakure store vest and hat, which were, not only unflattering towards his size, had also quite happily flattened the spikes in his hair which had taken him 3 attempts to get just right earlier that morning.

At 16 years and 7 months of age, standing a firm 5ft9", coming from a Japanese family, good-looking, good at sports, intelligent, easily annoyed and a lover of anything with tomatoes in it, we have just been introduced to Konohagakure's youngest and most useful worker. Mainly because he actually did the work he was told to do… rather than lazing around out the back of the building hiding from Tsunade.

He sighed and put his hands in his pockets and walked over towards the checkouts, ignoring the crunch of a broken tile under his feet, 'hn….we actually have a need to open another till?' he thought in amazement as he turned round the corner. He stumbled to a stop and stared forward in shock!

There were queues for the tills! Huge queues…with people holding loads of baskets of shopping!!

He ran to his till and switched it on, starting to scan the first person's items, mildly aware that his co-workers were actually at their tills too. He smirked slightly when he saw Naruto head banging slightly as he scanned bread and milk in the cashier desk next to him, the ipod headphones leading down from his ears kind of gave away the sign that Naruto had snuck his ipod into work again.

The 5ft7" sunshine blonde 17 year old Uzumaki Naruto could be described with one phrase, trouble-maker. After joining the store back when he was 16, dragged into the business by Tsunade, his great aunt, Naruto had done nothing but abuse the rules that had been set, ignored instructions, pulled pranks on the few customers the store ever gained and even ate a couple things off the shelves or watched movies in the TV section out of boredom. It was easy to see by almost anyone, that Uzumaki Naruto was a very disinterested worker at the store, the guy dreamt of being something important, but after failing to reach his expected grades and being kicked out of school for being a nuisance; he was stuck working for a living at the store.

Sasuke looked away from naruto and typed in the keys on the old fashioned cashier computer to bring up the total of the cost of shopping the old lady in front of him had picked up, "that'll be 45 pounds 80 please" he said politely, taking the credit card from her wrinkly hands and sliding it across the swiper. After tearing the receipt off and handing it back to her along with her card, he moved onto the next customer who was waiting impatiently for Sasuke to start scanning his items.

This same basic repetitive system of scanning the items, packing, paying and leaving went over about 37 times for Sasuke; he counted every one of them. Overall, with an average total of about 46 items per person, Sasuke figured out that he had scanned an overall total of 1702 items. Each item taking an average total of 1.2 seconds each to be scanned created the total of 2042.4 seconds to scan all of the items; this total, added along with the approximate one minute long gap between each customer created a total of 4262.4 seconds of work at the cashier desk. These 4262.4 seconds equalled roughly 71.04 minutes, which in turn calculated into an hour and 11 minutes. He could have quite easily gone into further detail by using his total and multiplying it by the amount of workers at the cashier desks around him to find out the overall total of people buying things from Konohagakure super stores right at this very moment; but he had decided that it was sort of unnecessary seen ad though the store was overcrowding and the queues were growing…and also it was hard concentrate on calculations when he had a sore ass from sitting at that desk for over an hour. And besides, he was only working with average totals, if he had counted all of the items, he was sure he would realise that he had been sat in that chair for ages. Even though Sasuke really, really did appreciate maths.

Finally after what seemed to be ages, the crowds had died down and Sasuke was able to find it safe enough to sneak away from the till long enough to stretch his legs and try and get the feeling back in his butt. He walked out towards the back of the store, going through the doors with torn and barely readable tape across it saying 'fire exit, this door is alarmed'. Well, the tape was lying, after a short rat problem; the wires that connected the door to the alarm had been gnawed through, leaving the door useless. Sasuke pulled the bright green baseball cap off which still happily beamed out the little slogan 'Konohagakure stores, we serve, you buy!' and he ran his hand through the back of his hair, trying to get it to stand up again. He dropped the hat down on the small coffee table and went over to the coffee machine, putting a cup underneath and inserting the money.

The machine growled and whirred making a loud clunking noise, Sasuke sighed and punched the front of the machine, making it go click and send out a random coffee. He tapped his foot impatiently as the cup got filled up, he picked it up and blew the top of it before taking a sip, "….hmm…. 'Café Breva' today huh?" he murmured to himself. It was a good thing Sasuke appreciated all types of coffee, seen as though the coffee machine seemed to have a mind of its own. He personally blamed his elder brother for getting him into the sweet bitter taste of coffee from such a young age, the same elder brother who was away on a business trip at the moment, thank the lords!

Sasuke's thoughts got interrupted when the door opened and someone walked in,

"Hey, what's the coffee machine giving out today?" Shikamaru asked lazily, sitting down in a chair and slouching.

Shikamaru, one of the laziest workers at Konoha, a modest 5ft6" in height and a proud wearer of baggy clothes, his almost constant slouched position and tired/grouchy face and attitude made the poneytailed lazy 19 year old one of the most unapproachable members of the Konoha staff team. But don't get me wrong, he wasn't useless, he was actually very, very smart, he was very good at solving problems and if the intercom messed up, like it usually did, Tsunade always asked Shikamaru first to go and mend it.

Sasuke sometimes wondered why Shikamaru was bothering to waste his time and efforts at a supermarket, but then again, up until today, the store had always been quite uneventful, so there was no need for Shikamaru to expend any of his precious energy.

He turned round and looked over at the pony-tailed guy, sitting himself on the table beside the coffee machine,

"It's giving out 'Café Breva' today, yesterday it was giving out 'Ristretto' coffee." Sasuke said with a shrug.

Shikamaru nodded and shrugged leaning his head back in the chair, he sighed in a long and deep way shutting his eyes and putting his fingers together as he considered getting up to get himself a coffee. Sasuke drank another gulp grimacing and trying his best not to yelp and get coffee everywhere as he burnt his tongue.

"Ha ha! Crab in your pants?" Naruto laughed seeing sasuke's wide eyed and pained looking face when he walked into the backroom to go sit down.

Sasuke glared, swallowing his coffee and taking another gulp to try and cover up his earlier pain, "Feh… you wish dobe." He muttered setting the now empty cup down, waiting for the usual caffeine rush that normally appeared after he had a cup of coffee.

Naruto chuckled to himself and jumped down into one of the spare chairs, ignoring the spring that burst out of the fabric from the strain, "Isn't it fun to actually have customers in the store? Huh?" he smirked, looking a little smug and proud of himself.

Sasuke frowned and cocked his head, "…why're you looking so proud of yourself…I thought you hated having to work on the tills"

Naruto chuckled and opened his eye looking over at Sasuke, "eh, just pleased with the result of my efforts" he laughed again. This made Sasuke even more curious; he stood up and raised an eyebrow,

"Your efforts? Why're you laughing?" he demanded to know, naruto was always doing things like this, sometimes Sasuke dreaded to ask what the blonde boy had done.

Naruto continued to laugh, "Aha! You'll be impressed when I tell you; ah store life was getting so boring lately"

Ok, this was the snapping point for Sasuke, it was sort of like when you bend your favourite pencil a little too far and it just goes crack! "Just tell me for crying out loud just tell me, the suspense is actually killing me" he snapped

Naruto snickered, "i…hehe….i….started a rumour….ehehhe"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "…started a rumour about what…."

"t-that…..hehe hehe…Sunagakure sold aids!!"

Sasuke stared blankly, "….. You told a rumour that the other store…sold…aids?" he said in disbelief, "…and people were dumb enough to believe that?"

Naruto nodded, still smirking proudly, "yep, I said it in a really believable way! Through a microphone and everything" he explained.

Sasuke sighed and put his head in his hands, sitting down carefully so as to not get stabbed by a spring, it had happened on his first day… it hurt, a lot. "you realise those people may be stupid, but they aren't gonna believe that for long" he reasoned.

Naruto sighed and nodded, "yea yea, I know that, that's why we're gonna deal with that issue tonight!" he said smugly putting his feet up on the table.

"Uh…..you mean we as in you and your imaginary friend right…" Sasuke grimaced.

Naruto laughed, "ha-ha! If you meant 'imaginary' as in 'real' and friend as in 'you' then you were totally correct " he beamed. Sasuke sweat-dropped and scowled,

"No, no no no no no! I am not helping you in your childish schemes! Remember what happened last time you tried to scheme something this big?"

A short skip back in time showing the image of a giant potato sculpture in the middle of sasuke's lounge with naruto standing next to it looking proud while sasuke just stood in his doorway looking horrified.

Naruto shook his head, "Nah, it's not like the potato incident, this one is really cool, I saw it in a spy movie once!" he said flapping his arms for emphasis.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I swear, if I get in trouble for this , I may actually find myself killing you slowly with a giant spatula, and before you say anything to question that, yes, I have one, Itachi brought one back from Spain. Don't ask me why"

Naruto laughed, "yeah yeah, whatever, you'll be fine, you and your clean permanent record" he tusked. He then leant forward looking around the room, seeing no one else in there, and just Shikamaru asleep in the chair. "Ok look, you want this store to be successful right?"

Sasuke blinked, "yeah…but why are you so bothered?"

"Tch, duh! More customers means more wages, pay rises Sasuke pay rises! I want to buy myself a scuba suit!" he said as though it should've been obvious, and ignoring the confused expression on sasuke's face who was undoubtedly wondering why naruto wanted to buy himself a scuba diving suit, he continued on, "ok, meet me at the back of Sunagakure at midnight, wear black"

"why?" Sasuke blinked leaning forward to listen to naruto, who had dropped the volume of his voice considerably"

"Because, all the spies in spy movies wear black, have you not seen a spy movie? Geez you're useless. Ok, I need you to bring some glue, a hairdryer, a crow-bar and some screwdrivers"

"Whoa…hang on….why them?"

"You'll see later!" Naruto said getting up and grabbing his bag from his locker so he could sneak away from the store early.

Sasuke sighed and shook his head, 'what have I gotten myself into…' he thought.


	2. Accidental triumphs

This chapter is not as long as the first one, but that's onyl because i wanted to leave it on a cliff hanger. I started typing chapter 2 a few months ago, but finally finished it today where i have been home sick from an operation on my nose, fingers crossed i will be able to breathe when it all heals up!

Disclaimer- All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the plotline and events in this story belong to me, that's it.

Summary- Konohagakure super stores was the largest chain of super stores in the country, until it had been knocked out of business by competing store, Sunagakure deals and meals. Sasuke had settled into the quiet working life at Konohagakure super stores, until his co-worker naruto decides to liven things up a little.

Pairing undecided and unimportant, it is a collection of mini stories/episodes.

Aisle mania

Sasuke looked up when he heard the announcement from the bus driver that the said bus had reached the east of the town he got up, reached up into the baggage holds and pulled a shoulder bag down which he hoisted up onto his shoulder. It was pretty heavy due to the things he had brought along, he sighed and shook his head, straightening out his black jacket and got off the bus out onto the dark street. It had rained when he had left the store so the street was now lined with puddles, each reflecting the light from either the moon or the street lamps.

As he walked, he mildly noticed the fact that the third lamp across the road from him seemed to be flickering on and off, it seemed to flicker quickly for about 5 times, then shut off for a second, and then go back to flickering again. He sighed and yawned slightly, checking his watch as he walked, it was 20 past midnight, he could've been out earlier, but the meal he had cooked for himself had taken a little longer to make than he had expected. As he turned round the corner, going past the alley ways that just seemed the scream 'rapist village' he shut his eyes, 'ok, I go up to the store parking lot, if Naruto is there then I stay, if I don't see him within the space of 5 minutes, then I turn around and go straight home' he decided.

He groaned and put a hand to his forehead feeling a stress headache coming on, seriously, he was this stressed out at the age of 16, it was ridiculous to think of! He was so dead if they got caught out at this store, "Damnit, why does naruto always drag me into stupid things, this is dumb and illegal!" he muttered to himself. Usually it was only small things that the blonde trouble-maker made him do, like switching the order of the books around in the book department so that the owlish book workers would get in a stress. Admittedly, some of the pranks that they had pulled had been pretty funny, but this new idea of naruto's, it made Sasuke unsure.

It was natural of any Konoha worker to hate anyone who worked at or shopped at Suna, quite a few people in the staff had claimed that they would love to take Suna down someday, but Sasuke always considered their ideas to be simple threats and nothing more to worry about than a few bitter thoughts.

Unfortunately, Naruto never really quite understood the concept of threats, and he generally took other peoples words literally, so Sasuke felt it was safe that naruto was being a bit idiotic this time and that maybe there was a good chance that he cold talk naruto out of doing whatever he was planning on doing to the competing store.

He couldn't help but wonder what the other had planned, bad posters? Rearranging the store around when no one's looking? Oh lord… maybe explosives?

He paused in the street and shook his head trying to get rid of his thoughts which were starting to turn a bit too irrational. Honestly; Sasuke knew Naruto was just about as reckless as they come, but he knew Naruto wouldn't do anything too extreme... especially if it involves someone else's property. Besides, Sasuke knew for a fact that Naruto's pay check would never cover an insurance pay out.

Feeling reassured at this thought, Sasuke felt a bit more empowered to move onwards. As he walked he became remotely aware of the rattling of the items in his bag, and the small echoes emanating off the walls of the streets from his footsteps. It always did creep him out being out late at night, he could never quite trust the sounds and shadows he encountered… either that or Itachi had made him watch too many late night horror films at a young age. Surely growing up watching films like that would've made Sasuke a bit more robust and find it easier to handle scary situations, if anything it turned him into a bit of a nervous wreck; but no one would ever have to know that.

Finally after about another 7 minutes of walking Sasuke eventually found himself moving past the familiar metallic gates that stood proudly on guard around Sunagakure Deals and Meals. He paused, holding onto the small twists of wire with his long fingers, peering through, 'am I seriously gonna attack this super store?' he pondered, questioning whether he would have the nerve… or whether he'd be able to live down the shame of being caught or arrested.

Unfortunately for Sasuke just as he was about to run for it like a scared little shrew, a hand grabbed his arm, needless to say Sasuke shrieked and smacked whoever it was round the face with his bag as though he was some kind of old lady with a purse,

"Get away from me pervert!!" he yelled.

Naruto's eyes widened and he slapped a hand round sasuke's mouth whilst holding onto the now swelling lump on the side of his head, "what the hell are you doing??" he hissed, "it's me!"

Sasuke blinked a couple times before pulling away, "oh… I see" he looked away and coughed, "erm… yeah… I wasn't scared or anything" he mumbled looking around shiftily.

Naruto slapped Sasuke on the back,

"oh quit whining, it's only a bit of breaking and entry, nothing to worry about" he said as he began to cut a whole through the fencing with some wire cutters.

Sasuke frowned uncertainly, "you still haven't told me exactly what you're making me do… it had better not be illegal"

The blonde rolled his eyes and crawled through the hole, pulling the small cargo print bag through behind him, "always with the complaining!" he sighed, "just get in here and help me ruin this business so that we can get better pay checks"

Sasuke sighed, and after contemplating for a couple minutes he pulled a baseball cap on, covered his eyes and crawled through, "okay… but if you do anything extremely bad I will be inclined to leave" The younger of the two grumbled, but followed behind Naruto none the less; the pay raise was tempting he had to admit, ah maybe he could finally take over paying full rent of his apartment and he could escape Itachi lording over him all the time saying '50 percent of this apartment is mine, so that gives me the right to root through your stuff'. He looked up as he followed the silhouette of his co-worker down behind the building, going over to him when he stopped by a chained up back entrance. Sasuke cocked his head in amusement as naruto tried to pull the lock off to open it,

"…. It's locked Naruto" he stated plainly.

Naruto rolled his eyes, "well no duh captain obvious" he huffed as he yanked at the chain, perhaps believing he had to strength to pull it free; however after a exercise routine of changing the TV channels and sometimes working on the cash register at work, alongside a diet mainly built up of chips, chocolate and ramen; Sasuke highly doubted Naruto had the physique to break through the metal.

"Yeah… I doubt that's gonna work" Sasuke deadpanned, still remaining his good few metres away, if he could be as little as involved as possible, then he would be a happy convict. "was that your master plan?" he asked in remote amusement as he adjusted the bag strap on his shoulder, considering whether they should call it a mission failed and head home in defeat.

Sasuke's plans to escape were interrupted by a wide grin and a chuckle coming from the blonde one, Naruto looked over at his partner in crime with fires in his eyes, "oh come now Sasuke, you think so little of me! A wicked genius like me always has a backup plan!" he said confidently, deciding to ignore the scoff and snicker that Sasuke gave off. He held up a large rock, "if we cant get in from the door, we'll smash a hole in one of the windows!" he said confidently, "YOSH!!" he yelled… considerably loudly, perhaps he forgot that when breaking into a building one was meant to be quiet and stealthy like a ninja.

Sasuke blinked and crossed his arms, sure Naruto's back up plan was primitive and it may cause a few glass cuts… but he had to admit, the guy was good at thinking on his toes and making things up as he went along. So, as the curious young lad he was, the dark haired teen stood back to watch the wonder of Naruto's scheme unfold. Naruto held the rock up high and backed up so he could get some running distance, "okay… on three!" Naruto said, arms shaking in adrenaline,

"one…

Two…

THREE!" He yelled, running forwards and throwing the rock like a catapult towards the windows of the building.

Sasuke watched the rock fly up into the air…. Then he watched it smack into the window…. Then as it bounced off said window, straight back at naruto, smacking him on the face.

"Oww!! Stupid reinforced glass!!" Naruto wailing holding the second lump on his forehead and jumping around a bit. Sasuke was about to tell Naruto to stop wailing and making such a fuss when he heard it… it was quiet at first… then built up gradually until the shrill ringing of the security alarm was tearing at his ears.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Sasuke screamed.

Naruto gaped, "erm erm erm…. Oh crap… I didn't know they had a security system!" he wailed hoping on the spot trying to decide what to do.

"Oh god I don't wanna go to jail!" Sasuke cried loudly, "they'll eat me up in there and confuse me with their mind tricks!! Ill bend over to the get the soap and be done for!" he wailed, before his thoughts began to get really really irrational, he shook naruto's shoulders, "Im too pretty for that!!"

Naruto grimaced and covered Sasuke's mouth, "okay, stop freaking out! Both of us are too pretty for jail, think of me! Im friggin blue eyed with blonde hair, you know that's the formula for doom in jail!" he reasoned. His reasoning got interrupted however by the barking of dogs getting louder, "fuck guard dogs!" he yelped, grabbing his bag and sasuke's arm, basically dragging his catatonic compadre along, "run for it!" He screamed as they shot through the gates screaming like little school girls.

However… while the boys assumed that they had failed in their mission to destroy Sunagakure Meals and Deals, the situation actually ended up going quite well for them. The owner of the Suna chain of stores was a successful businessman, he knew exactly how much or little he needed to spend, and was gaining some of the largest profits out of a small industry store than most other people. This however, did of course have its downfalls; the main example being the Suna security systems. The owner was always quick to express his opinions on updating software 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. Unfortunately the alarm systems after 25 years of good well working service, decided to short circuit the night Naruto accidently set them off, and soon the newspapers would be reporting the fact that the store had indeed burnt down.

Fire fighters were trying to put out the fire for 2 hours, but in the end the scene became a large mass of burnt out timber, ash, and a terrible massacre of meat joints and coco pops.

TBC...


	3. Guilt Ridden

new chapter up, woo, its only taken me over half a year to write it... *bricked* lol you love me really.

Disclaimer- All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the plotline and events in this story belong to me, that's it.

Summary- Konohagakure super stores was the largest chain of super stores in the country, until it had been knocked out of business by competing store, Sunagakure deals and meals. Sasuke had settled into the quiet working life at Konohagakure super stores, until his co-worker naruto decides to liven things up a little.  
Pairing undecided and unimportant, it is a collection of mini stories/episodes.

* * *

Sasuke was immediately suspicious when he headed up to Konoha store that next morning for his day shift, there was something not quite right…

Maybe it was the fact that there was a very long line of people waiting outside desperate to get in. And well, if he was to do the math on this subject; the line was stretched out over an average space of about… approximately 20 metres, within each metre there was approximately 3 and a half people, multiply that amount, by the length the line spread out by; 3.5x20- would equate to approximately 70 people all queuing to try and get into Konohagakure super stores. It may not seem like an earth quacking amount to some people, but compared to the usual 5 or 6 people per day the store used to achieve, Sasuke couldn't help but sense the success of the store.

Though, as he arrived in the break room to put his uniform on, his sense of unease and ultimately his predictions of doom suddenly shot back to him. He'd walked past Shikamaru and Kiba who he assumed were discussing some kind of football match that was on the previous evening, Sasuke couldn't exactly say that he had a taste for such sports. Sports were… hmm, how could he put it in a kind way? To Sasuke, sports appeared to show athletes playing games… and getting paid way too much for what they do. Although hey, he was just a simple cashier for a cruddy supermarket, so what did he know?

After walking past the two men arguing over which team deserved to win with a roll of his eyes, Sasuke finally reached the long line of lockers. He pulled out his keys and started to arduous task of trying to pry the locker open, which, due to its age has somewhat rusted shut, so it took a bit of brute strength sometimes to open it. Finally, after a few tugs and a couple of choice punches thrown in its direction, he was able to gain access to his work vest. Pulling the anything but fashionable green vest on, he slid on his green baseball cap and then went to shut the door.

"I know what you did last night!" said a spooky voice which made Sasuke squeal unceremoniously like a girl and slam his locker door shut. He looked over, face twisted in terror, before nearly peeing his pants when he saw a figure cloaked in black with one of those horrific Halloween masks on.

Just as Sasuke started to hyperventilate and was about to just confess his guilt, the figure burst into laughter, a hand reaching up to remove the cloak and mask, revealing that it had been the blond all along playing a prank.

"Got ya! Geez you look like you've had a pooped your pants!" Naruto teased, wiping a tear of laughter from his eyes as he mentally congratulated himself for being able to scare his younger work friend so well.

"Naruto you jerk!" Sasuke yelled, thumping the blond on the arm, "scared the crap outa me!!" he cursed furiously. Did the blond not understand the seriousness of this situation??? They set off some alarms!! What if they had been seen by the cameras?

Oh Gawd, he could just sense it now 'Uchiha Sasuke, you are guilty of setting of a security alarm, you will get the death sentence'.

'Mom and dad are rolling in their graves, I can sense it' he thought wearily.

Naruto slapped him on the shoulder and stuffed his costume in his locker, "Eh, don't be such a baby, I call it a strike of luck that Suna burned down" He said smugly.

"B-BURNED DOWN??" Sasuke yelled, "What?? We didn't burn it-Mmph" His crazed rantings were cut off by naruto putting a hand over his mouth,

"Hey sh, don't shout it so loudly. The cops think it was just youths being bored. We're safe, so will you stop acting so damn guilty?" He sighed, uncovering Sasuke's mouth, "there, I'm gonna go hang out in the candy aisle, if Tsunade wants me to go on the cashiers then tell her im busy or something" He grunted as he walked off coolly.

Though, to contrast naruto's cool and triumphant demeanour, the poor dark haired teen was in utter turmoil.

"…burned down?? … how can I not feel guilty..." he wailed, "I MURDERED A SUPERSTORE!!" he cried up at the ceiling, as though expecting the giant unkindly hand of Kami to smoosh him where he knelt, this was going to be a difficult shift…

Things didn't seem to get better during the day either, Sasuke was cowering behind his spot on the till, scanning customer's foods with shaking nervous hands, occasionally falling into small bouts of snickering and eye twitching which sorta just creeped the customers out, making them think perhaps there was something wrong with him. Well it was nice to see that the store had equal opportunities for all.

* * *

It had been a few hours and Sasuke was just coming back from another toilet break, nerves hardly making him feel healthy, he'd thrown up several times already, the trigger seeming to be whenever anyone mentioned fire or anything that Rhymed with 'Suna'… too bad it was 'buy one get one free' on Tuna today. Kami was getting his revenge, oh yes, yes he was.

However, things became clearly much worse and out of control, when a large amount of policemen came in causing Sasuke to stop in his tracks and fall into a short panic attack. He looked around hurriedly trying to find somewhere to go and hide, only to find his legs wobbling like jelly and the policemen coming over towards him.

"Hey, excuse me, do you know whether there's a-," the cop was cut off by Sasuke falling to his knees and exclaiming-

"I did it okay!! Im guilty!! I murdered it; I killed it and then burnt the remains!!" He sobbed and bowed, forehead hitting the barely clean flooring in a perfect confession. Not quite seeing the confused looks on the cops' faces that were only in Konoha for some pastries, which they usually bought at Suna.

"….er… we just wanted to know whether there were any offers in the bakery…" The cop sweat dropped, trying to move away as Sasuke started clawing at the handcuffs that hung at his belt,

"No, I'm a bad person, arrest me and lock me up before I do it again! I'm crazy!!" he insisted, grabbing the cops pants leg and sobbing into them, until he was suddenly grabbed by the sleeve and pulled back by Naruto who, like the rest of the store, had over heard Sasuke's entire rant.

"Erm... sorry about him officers, Sasuke's not very well today ha ha ha!" he said, smiling to try and cover it up, he turned to walk away before looking back at the cops, "he's a bit brain damaged, been like it since he was 5! Isn't Konoha nice for employing him? I know right! Well this has been fun bye now!!" he said dashing off, dragging Sasuke with him, and leaving Ino to deal with the cops.

He burst into the break room and pushed Sasuke against the wall, "what the hell was that??!!" he yelled angrily

Sasuke snivelled, "they came to arrest meeee" he whined, "I can't live with the guilt, I'm an accomplice to murder!" he confessed

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Murder!? Since when?? Who you murder? Cuz I'm not cool with hanging out with a murderer..."

"You're the one who murdered it" he mumbled, biting his nails which had already been gnawed to pieces.

"What? … You still bitching about Suna? Sasuke you didn't even throw the rock, geez, I thought you were cool, clearly you're not. Sheesh, let the unknown youths take the wrap for us!" he shrugged, sitting down on a broken chair, (which took much skill to be able to sit on without actually falling off, or impaling yourself on one of the legs which stuck upwards vertically) and ruffling his hair, he looked over at Sasuke who was staring into space and twitching.

He sighed, "What about coffee? Do you want coffee?" he asked, getting a small nod out of the other boy. He backed up slowly; feeling a little creeped out by the Uchiha's glazed expression, and quickly made the coffee machine spit out a drink. Then, slowly he gave Sasuke the cup as though it was some kind of offering, "come on, ducky, stop feeling so guilty" he said, trying to sound sweet, but it just sounded a bit awkward.

"I can't" Sasuke said timidly, not even noticing the term 'ducky' in naruto's last sentence; finishing the coffee in record time and barely even noticing how much it scorched his tongue and throat, "I have to turn myself in! I will tell Tsunade… she will probably yell and fire me" he said as he paced, breathing slowly to remain calm, "but that's okay, I can always become a hobo and dance on the street corner for money so I can buy shoes, I saw a nice comfy looking refrigerator box on the way to work this morning, I'm sure it will be very cosy for me" he ranted, heading towards the stairs that lead up to Tsunade's office.

Naruto followed him, grabbing his sleeve, "what?? No! Don't do that Sasuke, come on, we can talk about this right..?" but when he got a look from Sasuke that seemed both stubborn and determined, he came to the conclusion that Sasuke wasn't gonna stop in his mission to become punished.

He shrugged and leant back against the wall, "fine, just don't tell her that I was involved!" he ordered.

As he walked up the stairs, in his mind, Sasuke could imagine the funeral march, which seemed to change into the Darth Vader theme midway through… isn't that weird how that always seems to happen?

Either way, it was leading to his impending unemployment. Damn, Itachi was gonna be pissed.

Finally, reaching Tsunade's door, he knocked boldly, awaiting the usual 'whadya want' reply that she usually gave. After receiving said expected greeting, Sasuke checked the door handle for a bit that wasn't quite so covered in cobwebs and let himself in. he shut the door behind him quietly and regarded the manager of the building as she sat on the desk which was covered in papers, while she played with a paddle game.

"Make it quick Uchiha, I'm very busy here" She grunted, as she paddled the ball for the 100th time, yes she was going for a new record here.

Sasuke shifted and sweat dropped, not wanting to make any comments about Tsunade's code of conduct. "I'm here with a confession to make; I cannot take the guilt any longer Tsunade. You can feel free to fire me straight away if you must, I surely do not deserve to wear this uniform" he said sadly.

The buxom blonde eyed him tiredly as she paddled her 123rd paddle, "well what is it? You been stealing money from my cash registers? I always knew you were suspicious" she said narrowing her eyes. 145 paddles now.

Sasuke hung his head, "no ma'am, it's worse. I was the one who threw the rock at Suna and it burnt down because of me!" he said, wincing away and expecting his punishment.

Tsunade blinked, stopping paddling, "you set Suna on fire?" she questioned, before bursting out into raucous laughter, "you brilliant boy!! And you made it look like an accident! You genius!!" she congratulated standing up and pulling him into a tight embrace against her large bosoms.

Sasuke choked out, both in shock, and the fact that it was difficult to breathe where he was not being squished, "you're not angry??? I ruined property! I deserve punishment!" he exclaimed, horrified that Tsunade would laugh at such a serious matter, "you going to call the cops? Come on, have them arrest me, I know they were suspicious about me earlier I know they were!" he insisted.

She chuckled and pushed him away turning round to pick up her paddle game again, "Yeah but you brought me business. Get outa here, you don't need punishment-"she blinked when Sasuke gripped her desk giving her a scary expression,

"I need to be disciplined! I could go on to do worse damage! Fire me! Arrest me! Something!! Anything so I can repent this terrible guilt I feel!" he wailed, calling for justice, he was a criminal Damnit!!

She rolled her eyes and sat down, putting her feet up on her desk, "fine, don't drive yourself insane Sasuke, you're quite over excitable today I must say." She put her glasses on and wrote down on a scrap piece of lined paper, "I will suspend you…. For the total amount of time, of 3 hours!" she said, handing over the paper like it was an official document. "Now get the hell out of my office and let me continue my work" she demanded.

Sasuke read the paper, gripping it like it was some kind of precious item, he even rubbed his cheek against it a couple times lovingly, "yes ma'am!" he chirped, "thankyou ma'am!" he bowed and exited the room, hearing his boss yell after him 'quit calling me ma'am you runt!!'.

Yes, justice had prevailed!

TBC...


	4. trippin'

Chapter 4 is done woop. Im not gunna submit new chapters straight away after this one though, i need to plan the next part.

disclaimer- blabla bla

* * *

Following the burning down of Suna, business seemed to thrive again in Konohagakure super stores, customers were increasing almost everyday as they started to trust the run down superstore more and more. Profits were once again booming and it seemed as though the golden age of Konoha was back again.

However, no one seemed to notice the fact that construction work had started over at the burnt remains of the Suna store. Slowly it was being rebuilt and restored to its original glory.

…no scratch that! It had a far more modern design; with an arcade full of new games, a bowling alley, furniture departments… damn it was getting everything! If anything, the owner of the Sunagakure Deals and Meals chain had been planning on refurbishing his old buildings, he had decided that a range of department stores full of everything customers could ever need, was a far better business venture than just having simple supermarkets. So really, those kids who set his building on fire were doing him a favour!

Tsunade had indeed known that Suna was being rebuilt, but all the profits coming in were so damn distracting, it had been so long since they'd had business; it was just easy to ignore possible problems that may be ahead. Though it had been a month and a half now, and the store was finished, and they were clearly in trouble; what were they gonna do to keep their customers?? So naturally, she did what any great leader would do: force her employees to do the work for her and come up with ideas in a conference.

"Okay… we're in trouble; Suna is opening in one week! All our customers are going to leave us unless we think of a way to keep them shopping with us. So I need ideas people!" she said, marching up and down in front of them like some kind of army commander.

Kiba put his hand up, "okay, how about, buy one get one free socks!" He suggested boldly, earning a sigh of annoyance from his fellow workers, "what? What's wrong with that?" he asked angrily.

Tsunade sighed and sat on the edge of her desk, "Kiba, you should watch less football. Socks already come in packs of two, and no one would take that much interest in socks. We need something big people!" She said hitting the table with her fist to get their full attention. She paused when the door opened and Naruto waltzed in late,

"And where the hell have you been?" she asked her nephew furiously, "I told you this meeting was important!" she snapped

Naruto yawned and sat down next to a bored looking Sasuke, "oh bla bla, I'm here aren't I?"

She twitched, "You're late. Hell you're later than Kakashi… no offence Kakashi" she said, waving a hand dismissively towards the deli worker, who merely shrugged and said 'none-taken'.

Kakashi was a strange man, he worked in the meat section and wore a face mask to cover the smell of all the blood and stuff, but often refused to remove it, it was like he enjoyed wearing the slightly blood spattered mask, odd man indeed. Needless to say though, he was always very late and had no care for being on time. This was normally okay because not many customers really went to the deli section, what with it being creepy back there.

"Anyway… ideas… give me ideas, we need to keep hold of our customers" she said seriously, tapping her foot on the floor in agitation.

Iruka, a very quiet brunette who worked in the bakery alongside a couple of others, timidly put his hand up, despite being in his mid-twenties he still seemed to believe that putting one's hand up like you were a child in a classroom was the way to act in a conference. Tsunade sighed and nodded in regard to his hand being up, and urged him to speak.

"Well… how about we make it so that customers get something free with their purchases? It... It was in a poll a while ago, people like getting things back in return for what they buy" He said, quietly, going bright red after having said it.

Tsunade leant back against the table and thought about it with her brows furrowed, "well… it's got potential, but what would we give away? We can't afford to make anymore losses, we're struggling enough as it is to get income" she said, "any bright ideas anyone?" she asked wearily, she was far too hung over to think about this in a clear way.

Following this small speech was a little bit of muttering from the employees as some of them thought about what they could give out for free, while others were complaining about losing the feeling in their asses or having to sit in a stupid meeting for so long on the morning shift. The blonde boss twitched at the lack of progress,

"Hey! You won't be getting out of here till one of you knuckleheads gives me an idea!" she threatened, which caused the slackers to twitch and desperately try to help with the idea-stu they seemed to be brewing.

"What about the warehouse upstairs?" Sasuke suggested finally, he'd seen the hoards of old stock up there, sure they were all dirty but some of it could be salvaged right? It wasn't like they were going to be able to get money for it anyway, so they may as well use that crap as the free stuff. His eyes lit up happily as he saw approval in his boss' eyes.

"Yes excellent idea Sasuke! Yes, I can see this working quite well actually…" she murmured thoughtfully, getting up and pacing around, "yes… all the old stock… just gotta get two bakas to go up there and bring down the gold dust" she pondered.

The group of employees sat there watching her, all generally thinking 'not me not me' on repeat in their heads.

"Naruto, you were late this morning, you can do it" she said first, getting interrupted by Naruto's roar of defence,

"EH!? Me?!!! But Kakashi is always late! ... No offence Kakashi!" he excused, gaining another 'none taken' from the silver haired butcher, before continuing, "You're just bullying me! I don't wanna go up there!!" he yelled.

Tsunade merely ignored him and flipped hair out her eyes, "and Sasuke, you can go up there too", surprisingly earning a similar exclamation,

"What?! No way! Why should I go up there with that idiot?!" Sasuke asked angrily.

"Because you thought of it and you get work done. Now shush before I suspend you for another 3 hours" she warned.

However, both boys continued to argue their case, only to find themselves being forced up the step ladder that led to the creepy attic with the old stock in it.

* * *

Naruto huffed and dusted himself off, "damn bitch... someday Im gunna … well I don't know what im gunna do yet, but it'll hurt!" he muttered.

"Yeah… well done idiot" The younger teen drawled in annoyance as he moved beside the blonde, "where do we start?" he asked rolling up his sleeves.

Naruto shrugged and sat down, producing a perverted magazine from his shirt, "dunno, Im on strike" He said lazily, and started to look at some pretty pretty pictures, ah, Jiraiya was the best at sneaking these to him he smirked.

Sasuke sighed and looked away from naruto, to study the mountains of old boxes, a third of which had 'condemned' written on them, but the rest seemed to just be old boxes. So, naturally, he counted up an average amount of boxes in the room, totalling to about 87 boxes, give or take a few that were difficult to see in this crappy lighting.

Judging by the way they were taped up they were likely to take approximately 40 seconds to open, then he would have to check the stuff inside the boxes, that would possibly take as long as 1 minute, then there was the time taken to get another box, which would possibly take about 20seconds to several minutes, depending on how easy they were to reach. Calculating this up in his head like some kind of genius robot, he figured out that he was going to be up there working for about…6.7 hours. Well damn…and that's only if he worked efficiently alongside his calculations, this was going to be a looong shifted.

He sighed in annoyance and turned his cap backwards so the back of his head would not get as coated in cobwebs with the protection of that bit that sticks out on caps… what was that called anyway? He remembered once when they went to Disney land that Itachi had worn a Goofy hat for ages… it was creepy, he recalled bursting into tears because he thought Goofy was trying to gobble his brother up.

Such a peaceful un-traumatising childhood he had…

Well, haunting memories aside, he set to work, going over to the first box he saw, reaching up on the tips of his toes and pulling it down from the top of the pile, he grimaced in effort as he stumbled backwards, somewhat surprised at how heavy it was. With a small grunt he set the box down and tore it open, looking inside seeing a load of key rings that must be from the 80s, he shrugged, 'eh.. It could work' he thought, pushing it into a space that he would now name 'the maybe pile'.

Well that was one box down; perhaps if he continued to work at this half-assed rate he'd be out sooner. He smiled happily to himself, forgetting naruto was also in the room with him and he skipped to the next box, he peeked inside it, almost dropping it when he saw the black lacy undergarments inside. He went red and hid it, feeling a little embarrassed about it, 'no… we wont give those out…' he thought shaking his head, getting the next box down, hoping it wasn't going to be underwear again.

Luckily this one and the next few boxes were nice normal things like kitchen supplies, which were alright and would probably be good to give out with their offer. Soon enough a couple hours had past and Sasuke had already managed to check through 39 boxes, that was almost halfway there, and Naruto? Well Naruto had finished his reading and was now having a little nap, after he'd found the underwear that Sasuke had tried to hide away. Though it was nice and quiet now that the blonde was napping.

Sasuke wiped the layer of sweat off his brow and tore at the next box, eyes watering slightly at the strong solvent scent that swirled out from inside, he blinked and looked inside, seeing a load of old markers inside it, several of which had leaked.

His pupils dilated as the scent started to overtake him and the contents of the box started to swirl and distort. He looked up, smiling dazedly as he saw a bright sunny meadow in front of him. Ah and the trees were swaying and singing! He blinked when he saw a strange rabbit with his dad's face hop in front of him

'Come on son! Catch me! Catch me and eat the candy!' the bunny sang hopping away.

He stumbled to his feet and leapt after his bunny-father, only his clothes, they were so restricting! Awkwardly he tugged at his clothing and threw it away, and continued the chase, really wanting to catch his dad!

Though in reality it was much more haunting than sasuke's happy imagination lead him to believe.

* * *

Sakura, one of the clothing department girls, was sorting out some of the displays, a large lady had knocked almost everything off the rails when she had walked through, damn it was like something from 'howl's moving castle' sheesh she sighed and shook her head. She'd bent down to pick up the last pair of jeans that had fallen when someone grabbed her ass. She shrieked and swung an arm, slapping the villain in the face.

"Naruto you per-..." she paused when she saw it was a customer, "….sir… that is inappropriate!" she chided angrily

Gato hissed and sat up holding his face, glaring scornfully at the girl, "isn't the customer always right?" he muttered in annoyance.

"No!" sakura screeched horrified backing away from him, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave sir!" she demanded, staying strong.

The business investor grouched and got to his feet, picking up his cane again, hobbling off, and muttering about women not being as fun as they used to be.

The pink haired girl shivered and shook her head exasperatedly, about to head towards the phone so she could report what had happened to Tsunade when she heard a shout of joy and suddenly she… well she thought she saw a very naked Sasuke running past screaming 'liberation to the people!!!!'.

She gaped and shut her mouth blinking, 'Was that really sasuke? …. No… couldn't be…' she shook her head and sweat dropped, watching as a crowd of her fellow workers ran by, trying to catch the streaker.

* * *

Tsunade walked over with the elder uchiha brother, who had come in a hurry after getting a bizarre phone call from the supermarket, and stopped by the wall where Kiba and Shikamaru were holding a net and trying to get Sasuke who was clinging to a drainpipe and hissing whenever the net came near him.

"So you see this is situation Uchiha-san, I did not realise that there were erm… solvent substances in the storage area…" The blonde boss said in embarrassment, watching as Kiba finally managed to get Sasuke into a net and pull him down.

Itachi opened his mouth and raised his hand to his chin as though he was going to say something, but dropped his hand and shut his mouth, finding he had no comment at all in mind as he watched Shikamaru trying to wrestle a jacket and underpants onto his younger brother, who protested and hissed in return.

Well, this was a funny way to return from a business trip.


End file.
